Not having the time of your life at university? Many share your feelings.
A student named Robert spent most of his first week at university scrolling through social media, reading posts about peers enjoying evenings out.
"I remained in my room," Robert remembers, characterizing that period as the loneliest time of his life.
Robert's flatmates rarely went out, and his studies didn't appear particularly social.
Although he tried by attending trial events for multiple organizations, he didn't discover people he connected with.
"I started to lose my self-esteem," he says. "I felt like people didn't want to form friendships with me, or they weren't fond of me."
Social Media Comparisons
Initially, Robert didn't plan of studying at university and was offered positions for following college.
However he observed his peers living it up as college students online.
"When you've got to get up for employment on weekdays at nine in the morning and you see someone's been out on Wednesday night, you start feeling situations appear superior," Robert explains.
University Expectations
TV shows and social media can idealize the notion of university living.
Numerous students arrive at college with high expectations for what they think could be the greatest period of their lives.
Various learners come to university with "optimistic perspectives," explains a counselling manager.
Study Outcomes
- According to research of freshers in their first week, the primary worry was fitting in and being accepted
- In another survey through polling organizations, nearly one-fifth of attendees said they lacked friendships at university
- A substantial portion mentioned they felt anxious regularly about forming friendships
Personal Experiences
Another student's TikTok feed was filled with content of students enjoying themselves while sharing accommodation in college residences.
Yet when she relocated from her hometown to university to study journalism, she found freshers' week "overwhelming" because of how much alcohol it involved.
She abstains from alcohol and had not experienced nightlife before.
"I actually passed a lot of freshers' week within my living space," she says. "I just felt slightly disconnected."
Mental Health Considerations
In a 2025 survey of over ten thousand college learners, nearly one-third reported they thought about withdrawing from studies.
The most common reason was their mental and emotional health, accompanied by financial concerns.
"Concern over all of these different things is extremely prevalent, and expected," adds a mental health professional.
Discovering Answers
With time, the students all found their feet and developed friendships.
Alisha made friends via her studies and using online platforms, while the individual experienced improvement when she could to move in with friends.
Practical Advice
For Robert, presently older and in his final year, it was engaging in performance groups and working occasionally that helped him make friends.
Robert's advice to new attendees experiencing connection challenges is to simply leave your accommodation and participate in group trial sessions.
"After a few weeks of regular attendance, others notice your presence," he mentions, "you recognise theirs, and you start making friends."